πΉππππππ πΉπ ππΆ πππ (they/them) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ruevealing) wrote2023-08-05 10:44 pm
ruevealing) wrote2023-08-05 10:44 pm
[It's two versus one now!
Their paw remains there, brushing back his hair, their heart-shaped expression soft and adoring.]
It took me many millennia to figure out what I wanted, dear. I promise that you are not lagging behind anyone. You're just growing up. Your views on the world and on yourself, as well as your priorities will continue to shift for the next decade or so as you continue to mature and grow.
So I would ask that you give yourself some grace. In my eyes, you are doing exactly what you should be right now. The rest well come when you are ready.
Their paw remains there, brushing back his hair, their heart-shaped expression soft and adoring.]
It took me many millennia to figure out what I wanted, dear. I promise that you are not lagging behind anyone. You're just growing up. Your views on the world and on yourself, as well as your priorities will continue to shift for the next decade or so as you continue to mature and grow.
So I would ask that you give yourself some grace. In my eyes, you are doing exactly what you should be right now. The rest well come when you are ready.
[Bless him for knowing exactly what they needed.
Rue just needs a second to breathe, their wings carefully wrapping back around Casey, though not fully enveloping him as they normally would, just a touch skittish after the way Peter so desperately wiggled free of their embrace. But after a moment or two passes, the owlbear blinks their own tears back and sighs deeply, sinking back into the couch cushions.]
That boy. He is so determined to blame himself for all of the ways his world failed him.
Rue just needs a second to breathe, their wings carefully wrapping back around Casey, though not fully enveloping him as they normally would, just a touch skittish after the way Peter so desperately wiggled free of their embrace. But after a moment or two passes, the owlbear blinks their own tears back and sighs deeply, sinking back into the couch cushions.]
That boy. He is so determined to blame himself for all of the ways his world failed him.
[Peter is quiet for the moment, just taking in Rue's words.] Yeah, that is true... I just don't want to be left behind I guess. [He rubs the back of his neck uncertainly.]
Sometimes it feels that way. I stopped doing a lot of stuff I liked because of Spider-Man, and it feels hard to actually pick anything back up again.
Sometimes it feels that way. I stopped doing a lot of stuff I liked because of Spider-Man, and it feels hard to actually pick anything back up again.
I promise, none of us are going anywhere. You have all of the time in the world to figure out where your new path will take you. And know that especially Leo and I will be right there cheering you on, no matter what you choose to do.
[Casey will make up for their hesitation by curling up against their side on the couch, pressed close into their feathers.]
Once you think you've screwed up and gotten people hurt, it's really hard to shake that. You can't just logic your way out of those feelings.
[He's pretty sure all of them have felt it, to some degree. He's wrestled with it more than once recently. Clearly not to the extent as Peter, though.]
Once you think you've screwed up and gotten people hurt, it's really hard to shake that. You can't just logic your way out of those feelings.
[He's pretty sure all of them have felt it, to some degree. He's wrestled with it more than once recently. Clearly not to the extent as Peter, though.]
[To say he's embarrassed would be an understatement. He sure freaked out at poor Rue for absolutely no reason and he has no idea how to even broach the topic.]
I'm really sorry I freaked out at you like that while we were in Casey's apartment. I didn't realize I was like super sensitive about that stuff.
Are you okay?
I'm really sorry I freaked out at you like that while we were in Casey's apartment. I didn't realize I was like super sensitive about that stuff.
Are you okay?
[The timing is just unfortunate. Peter's text comes around the same time that Rue has an unfortunate meeting with iron, so it isn't until the following day, after their paws have been properly cleaned and bandaged, that they are able to finally answer his text.]
Oh Peter, I am so sorry for the delay. Yesterday was a total blur.
Are you alright? Please know that you and I are fine. I am not upset with you in the slightest.
Oh Peter, I am so sorry for the delay. Yesterday was a total blur.
Are you alright? Please know that you and I are fine. I am not upset with you in the slightest.
[The delay just makes Peter tie himself into knots. The teenager can't help but worry about somehow finding the one thing that finally makes Rue stop caring. It isn't a fair line of thought, he can understand that, but it still persists.
He hates feeling like this, so tangled up in his own dumb drama he can't help anyone else. He is more than relieved when Rue sends a reply. Though the relief turns into concern.]
Don't worry about it, Rue. I figured you would reply when you could. Did something happen?
Okay, I'm glad. I know that was... definitely weird.
He hates feeling like this, so tangled up in his own dumb drama he can't help anyone else. He is more than relieved when Rue sends a reply. Though the relief turns into concern.]
Don't worry about it, Rue. I figured you would reply when you could. Did something happen?
Okay, I'm glad. I know that was... definitely weird.
I had an unfortunate encounter with the Unseelie, but I am now home and recovering. It is quite fine.
I do not blame you, dear. If anything, I hope that you can accept my apology for inspiring such a reaction from you. I'm very sorry.
I do not blame you, dear. If anything, I hope that you can accept my apology for inspiring such a reaction from you. I'm very sorry.
[Since Casey does not seem to jerk away at their touch, Rue very lightly rests a wing over his shoulder as he cuddles in close at their side. The owlbear is quiet for a moment, contemplative and more than a little wrapped up in their own whirling feelings before their finally tip their head to bump affectionally against Casey's.]
I know you are right. I do. It just weighs so heavily against my heart. I wish I had the perfect words to say to help him.
I know you are right. I do. It just weighs so heavily against my heart. I wish I had the perfect words to say to help him.
Edited 2023-12-11 06:28 (UTC)
Who wouldn't wish that?
[How many times has he longed for that during conversations with Hunter, when he struggled with his flailing understanding of the trauma that comes with all he'd been through? He doesn't even understand his own traumas most of the time.]
You're doing your best. Keep trying, and don't give up. That makes a huge difference... just knowing someone's always in your corner, no matter what.
[Rue's not the type to give up on any of them, he fully believes. Not for something like this.]
[How many times has he longed for that during conversations with Hunter, when he struggled with his flailing understanding of the trauma that comes with all he'd been through? He doesn't even understand his own traumas most of the time.]
You're doing your best. Keep trying, and don't give up. That makes a huge difference... just knowing someone's always in your corner, no matter what.
[Rue's not the type to give up on any of them, he fully believes. Not for something like this.]
I know.
[It still feels different for Rue. To want so desperately to be this boy's parent and to be so unable to help, it is impossible to not think that this is the reason Peter has never answered them.
But now is not the time to be so in their own feelings. Rue shakes their shoulders gently, as if shaking the energy off of them.]
I would never give up. Not on any of you. Ever. And I will prove it over and over, as many times as any of you need.
[It still feels different for Rue. To want so desperately to be this boy's parent and to be so unable to help, it is impossible to not think that this is the reason Peter has never answered them.
But now is not the time to be so in their own feelings. Rue shakes their shoulders gently, as if shaking the energy off of them.]
I would never give up. Not on any of you. Ever. And I will prove it over and over, as many times as any of you need.
I know. I'm sure deep down all of us know... even if the worry's on the surface sometimes.
[All of this is probably much easier for Casey, here; he hasn't known Peter for near as long, he's not seeking out a deeper family connection than they already have, unless it should happen organically. Of course he worries for Peter, he's a dear friend. What he'd listened to, albeit muffled and somewhat disjointed, had been horrible. It's just easier to take a step back from everything when the connection is softer, when you don't feel responsible for the other person the way a parent would.]
Heroes aren't allowed to be weak... they aren't allowed to make mistakes. Nothing can be about them. They have to 'get over it'. [He shakes his head, a wave of bitterness warring with the childlike wonder he used to indulge.] Sometimes I think the concept of 'hero' shouldn't exist.
[All of this is probably much easier for Casey, here; he hasn't known Peter for near as long, he's not seeking out a deeper family connection than they already have, unless it should happen organically. Of course he worries for Peter, he's a dear friend. What he'd listened to, albeit muffled and somewhat disjointed, had been horrible. It's just easier to take a step back from everything when the connection is softer, when you don't feel responsible for the other person the way a parent would.]
Heroes aren't allowed to be weak... they aren't allowed to make mistakes. Nothing can be about them. They have to 'get over it'. [He shakes his head, a wave of bitterness warring with the childlike wonder he used to indulge.] Sometimes I think the concept of 'hero' shouldn't exist.
[He is trying to not overly panic. Rue is safe, Rue is healing. That's good. Better than it could be.]
Do you need help...? It sounds like you got pretty hurt.
It's not your fault, its not on you at all. I'm just... trying to figure out where I fit. I guess. I feel so useless, and I don't like feeling like this.
I'm sorry.
Do you need help...? It sounds like you got pretty hurt.
It's not your fault, its not on you at all. I'm just... trying to figure out where I fit. I guess. I feel so useless, and I don't like feeling like this.
I'm sorry.
I know you are already caring for Leo. Please don't worry too much for my sake. I was just hurt with iron, but Casey was there to save me before it grew to becoming any worse than that.
[Rue hopes that answer will satisfy Peter enough, but their boys are all so sharp. They just don't want him asking the one question they would rather not answer.]
I hear you and I'm very sorry that you feel that way. None of that is fair to you.
[Rue hopes that answer will satisfy Peter enough, but their boys are all so sharp. They just don't want him asking the one question they would rather not answer.]
I hear you and I'm very sorry that you feel that way. None of that is fair to you.
[Sarajane's friends in Kirkwall had been like family to her. even Anders. which was probably why it was so easy for him to trick her into being a pawn in his ultimate plan.
killing him was probably the hardest thing she'd ever done.
and she smiles, wide and genuine] Thanks. And the feeling's mutual. I can see why Fenris likes you so much.
killing him was probably the hardest thing she'd ever done.
and she smiles, wide and genuine] Thanks. And the feeling's mutual. I can see why Fenris likes you so much.
[Spider-Bot helpfully adds its own agreement in a few beeps and boops. Peter just rolls his eyes a little, but fails to hide a smile at his creation seemingly deciding to just copy Rue.]
Hearing that does make me feel a lot better. I just... need to actually repeat that to myself to make it stick, I think.
Hearing that does make me feel a lot better. I just... need to actually repeat that to myself to make it stick, I think.
[Unfortunately, someone has a lot of concerned questions piling up.]
Is Casey staying with you right now...? I can't exactly teleport over, but I can visit. How did that even happen? Did those fae hurt you?
My reaction wasn't really fair to you either. I know you want to help, I just... haven't dealt with a lot of stuff I guess.
Is Casey staying with you right now...? I can't exactly teleport over, but I can visit. How did that even happen? Did those fae hurt you?
My reaction wasn't really fair to you either. I know you want to help, I just... haven't dealt with a lot of stuff I guess.
He is.
[And truly, even under this stress, Rue can not deny their heart is immensely full anytime they think of the little juvenile owlbear at their side.]
I don't want any of you boys to be frightened.
[And just the fact that Rue keeps repeating similar phrases, probably means they know the news will not be taken well by any of their children.]
Fae can not wield iron. It is anathema to any of us. It repels the very magic that gives us life. My memory of the event is fuzzy, but I believe it was one on our side who struck me.
But I am safe now. We are all safe. And whatever minor quarrel we experienced, I promise it is behind me. If you wish to speak about it further, I would do so willingly anytime that you need. Just after today, if that is alright. I'm still somewhat dazed from the blood loss.
[And truly, even under this stress, Rue can not deny their heart is immensely full anytime they think of the little juvenile owlbear at their side.]
I don't want any of you boys to be frightened.
[And just the fact that Rue keeps repeating similar phrases, probably means they know the news will not be taken well by any of their children.]
Fae can not wield iron. It is anathema to any of us. It repels the very magic that gives us life. My memory of the event is fuzzy, but I believe it was one on our side who struck me.
But I am safe now. We are all safe. And whatever minor quarrel we experienced, I promise it is behind me. If you wish to speak about it further, I would do so willingly anytime that you need. Just after today, if that is alright. I'm still somewhat dazed from the blood loss.
[That hits the point really. This nasty hero business. The more Rue learns of it, the more they detest everyone involved.
Finally, Rue's touch tightens around Casey, as if just speaking on the matter rattles up some worry within them that he will be scooped up by these Avengers or whoever they are next.]
It reminds me so much of the way my Hob was treated by those in authority over him, which was already quite upsetting enough and he is a full grown man. To think any adult could look at a child like Peter or Leo and expect them to be more than they already were. To instill this idea that their feelings and happiness will always come second to everyone else's, oh, I want to curse everyone involved!
I don't know if I have ever agreed with something more. Such a thing should not exist. No community should rely on one individual to shepherd them to safety, no matter what grand ability they have been given. We should carry that weight equally. Back home, the archfey were so desperate to keep every court divided from the other, but I have always known we would ever only be stronger together than apart.
Finally, Rue's touch tightens around Casey, as if just speaking on the matter rattles up some worry within them that he will be scooped up by these Avengers or whoever they are next.]
It reminds me so much of the way my Hob was treated by those in authority over him, which was already quite upsetting enough and he is a full grown man. To think any adult could look at a child like Peter or Leo and expect them to be more than they already were. To instill this idea that their feelings and happiness will always come second to everyone else's, oh, I want to curse everyone involved!
I don't know if I have ever agreed with something more. Such a thing should not exist. No community should rely on one individual to shepherd them to safety, no matter what grand ability they have been given. We should carry that weight equally. Back home, the archfey were so desperate to keep every court divided from the other, but I have always known we would ever only be stronger together than apart.
[Give him a second to take that all in. Guilt and fear twist him apart, leaving Peter feeling- like he can't really think straight.
He takes his time to reply, trying to keep it simple. He doesn't want to worry Rue. Rue has enough to worry about already. He won't make this worse.]
Oh, I didn't know that about fae. I need to research more later, so I'm not as blindsided.
I'm glad Casey is with you. I hope he stays there and makes sure you're okay.
Okay, we'll talk about it, whenever. Sorry.
He takes his time to reply, trying to keep it simple. He doesn't want to worry Rue. Rue has enough to worry about already. He won't make this worse.]
Oh, I didn't know that about fae. I need to research more later, so I'm not as blindsided.
I'm glad Casey is with you. I hope he stays there and makes sure you're okay.
Okay, we'll talk about it, whenever. Sorry.
Peter, you are not bothering me, if that is what you are thinking.
Please, if you would like to visit at anytime, you should. I may not be fully coherent enough to speak on the intricacies of our last conversation, but my heart is always happier when you are around. Besides, I will kick Casey out eventually if only because I know he wants to check in on Leo and sleep in his own bed. So if you just happen to visit then, I will not have to be left alone with my television dramas.
It will be alright. :)
I am fine. :)
Please, if you would like to visit at anytime, you should. I may not be fully coherent enough to speak on the intricacies of our last conversation, but my heart is always happier when you are around. Besides, I will kick Casey out eventually if only because I know he wants to check in on Leo and sleep in his own bed. So if you just happen to visit then, I will not have to be left alone with my television dramas.
It will be alright. :)
I am fine. :)
[Rue immediately knowing what he's thinking and trying to comfort him doesn't make Peter feel much better about any of this.]
I guess whenever Casey swaps with me to check on Leo, I can come over. I won't rush it though, you need like actual time to recover.
Please just take care of yourself, Rue.
I guess whenever Casey swaps with me to check on Leo, I can come over. I won't rush it though, you need like actual time to recover.
Please just take care of yourself, Rue.
Edited (why that white space tho) 2023-12-11 22:25 (UTC)
[Those words make Casey hesitate a little, debating what to say. He can't criticize every adult that asks difficult things of children. Sensei had plenty of expectations of him, because the world they lived in only had so much room for gentleness and softer opportunities. Once he reached an age where he could contribute, he was expected to, same as everyone else in the resistance. They'd protected him throughout his childhood, and one day it was time to give back, so those younger than him could grow up safely, too. He hadn't even been a teenager when he started training for patrols. And... he'd wanted it, the chance to step up and prove his worth, show them their efforts in raising and training him was worth it. To unburden them with some of the loads they'd been carrying his whole life and before. He could never curse them for asking him to take part in helping to protect their little corner of shelter in a dying world.
This conversation is for Peter's sake, though, and he can't say that Rue is wrong, either. In a different world, it would have been wrong for them to ask him to take part. But in a different world, they wouldn't have had to ask at all. Finally, he opts for,]
It's better if everyone works together, doing whatever they can... pushing their limits but not beyond. We managed that much at the end of the world, so why can't a world with so much more and so many people do it too? Why wasn't there someone to help him, or even do it for him so he could be a kid?
This conversation is for Peter's sake, though, and he can't say that Rue is wrong, either. In a different world, it would have been wrong for them to ask him to take part. But in a different world, they wouldn't have had to ask at all. Finally, he opts for,]
It's better if everyone works together, doing whatever they can... pushing their limits but not beyond. We managed that much at the end of the world, so why can't a world with so much more and so many people do it too? Why wasn't there someone to help him, or even do it for him so he could be a kid?
[Parents are well-versed in reading between the lines.]
I somehow doubt you visiting me will be too strenuous an activity. I just require a companion to watch movies with and maybe get pick me up a refill from the kitchen. :)
But there is no pressure. I will just be here resting, doing just as the doctor instructed.
[The doctor being Casey.]
I somehow doubt you visiting me will be too strenuous an activity. I just require a companion to watch movies with and maybe get pick me up a refill from the kitchen. :)
But there is no pressure. I will just be here resting, doing just as the doctor instructed.
[The doctor being Casey.]
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