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[ruevealing]

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[ruevealing]

[let's be real, cad should have a shirt that says 'sometimes he dislikes being right but...']

Oh, you make a good point there. I suppose that since I told him, Knickolas has been very careful to never leave notes for me around the home. Instead, if he has something to say, he seeks me out or calls directly. I - I honestly had not even noticed.

[steepwithdead]

Oh, then he's already taken those steps? That's wonderful to hear.

[Proud of you from over here, Hob. Good job buddy.]

Perhaps it would do you both good if you acknowledge it and tell him that behaviour is what you need. And of course to communicate any other behaviours he could show you that would reassure you the same way.

[ruevealing]

[It's such a silly, shameful thing to feel, but hearing Cad speak it aloud, truly acknowledging the change that Rue had hardly even noticed, it sparks a burst of appreciation within them for their husband-to-be.

Has Rue been blowing their worry up for nothing?]

That is very sound advice, Caduceus. Thank you. I think that is a good first step to take.

[steepwithdead]

Mm. Naturally you're welcome to take all of this with a grain of salt. I'm not attuned to the ins and outs of this particular type of relationship. [Romantic, marital, etc.] But I do know relationships in general, and communicating boundaries is key, always. I think you'll do just fine.

[ruevealing]

[They'll do just fine, hm? Funny how when Caduceus says it, it feels like something Rue can believe.]

I hope that you are right. It has been a difficult few months, but I do feel hopeful. Truth be told, my greatest fear right now is the boys.

[steepwithdead]

The boys? All of them?

[Obviously he's aware of the issues of one, but the rest he's not actually familiar with. He's only seen them in passing.]

[ruevealing]

Not quite all, mostly Leonardo. Though Casey a touch, as well.

[steepwithdead]

[Caduceus nods. Casey is a work in progress, certainly, but progress is being made. So...]

I've not met Leonardo. Is there something you're comfortable sharing?

[Talking helps, after all, but he can understand if they're not able to share in confidence.]

[ruevealing]

[It does help. Keeping it inside has gotten Rue nowhere.]

Leo was there when it happened. When that other Hob left. And I am ashamed to say that he witnessed how I handled that disappearance. I was inconsolable and he has held that grudge deeply against my husband since.

[steepwithdead]

[Rue your family is so dingdang messy and you're lucky he's too polite to say it out loud.]

Is Hob a sort of father figure to your children?

[Best to know the nature of their relationship before going further. They're married, but that doesn't guarantee anything when it comes to kids.]

[ruevealing]

[bestie, you have no idea]

That's complicated as well. I think he should like to be, and I would love for him to take on that role, but he and the children are still getting to know one another. And them all having such strong father figures in their life, it makes it more difficult when none of them are looking to fill that space.

[steepwithdead]

[he's learning so quickly.]

Hmm. That does take time, yeah. [Not a problem he's had personally, but like any relationship, closeness takes a while. Usually longer than one side wishes.] What do the others know? Is Leo alone in his resentment?

[ruevealing]

[Cad literally just walking around folkmore deflecting every kind of problem ever.]

Yes, for the most part. The others are much more accepting. [a beat] And most do not know what happened either, which helps.

[steepwithdead]

["Helps". Or just completely avoids the same problem by leaving them uninformed... well, he can't say that would be better, either. It's a complicated situation.]

I regret to tell you, my friend, that you've found yourself so loved that your son will likely resent your husband for hurting you for a long, long while. This isn't the worst problem to have, but it means that Hob will have to prove his loyalty to Leo just the same as to you. That takes time.

[ruevealing]

[no dont look there!! its my hidden worries]

Ah, I had a feeling. [and really, it's a bittersweet happiness, because Rue knows the only reason that Leo's reaction is so big is that his feelings for them are even bigger.]

Of course. I don't mean to rush him ever. I just worry, you know, there's that fear that he will never forgive him.

[steepwithdead]

[perceives with unnatural insight like always, deal with it]

Children have a tendency to adopt and mimic the behaviour of their parent, in an effort to make them proud. Things get more muddled with teenagers, however- those habits end up in conflict with the child's self-discovery of their own needs and behaviours. He may follow your lead and find forgiveness for your husband sooner. Or he may follow his own lead and decide for himself.

I think your best practice would be to continue to demonstrate to him your own practice in forgiving Hob, and let him see the steps taken on both sides. It might inspire him to see Hob differently.

[ruevealing]

[Adopt and mimic, hm? That isn't something Rue has ever heard about, but it does make sense, doesn't it? Even though they aren't children, but teenagers, the boys are all so sensitive dears, so in-tune with both one another's and Rue's moods. It only makes sense they might pick up on the unease there within them and turn it on Hob instead.]

My friend, that is quite the insightful advice. Thank you. I hadn't considered that I might be a bigger part of the problem than I ever intended to be, but maybe by being quiet, I've hurt Hob's previous chances of growing closer to the boys.

[steepwithdead]

Mm... I hope you don't think of it as a problem that you've caused. What happened to you was unkind and unfair. You are still wounded. All of us curl in on ourselves to protect what is wounded. To expect yourself to act perfectly in the aftermath, even many months later, is not reasonable.

[ruevealing]

[If nothing else, at least Rue has the decency to look a pinch ashamed at that. They know he is right, though it's so difficult to know they aren't as perfect in this as they are in most everything else they do.]

Is it shameful, do you think? To still be so hurt by it, nearly a year later?

[steepwithdead]

There's nothing shameful about pain. It tries to trick you, the same way negative emotions often do. That you shouldn't feel it, or share it. Bad things like to hide in the dark. But they're not meant to be in charge of your heart, are they?

[ruevealing]

No, of course not. I can not imagine the kind of world it would be if we allowed darkness to rule our every emotion.

[steepwithdead]

Mmm. The expectations you place on yourself are too high, my friend. Be as kind to you as you would one of your children.

[ruevealing]

You make it sound so simple!

[but maybe it is that simple, and rue has been going about it all wrong.]

[steepwithdead]

Like with many things, I expect you'll find it simpler than you think, but harder than you'd like.

[But he believes in them!]

[ruevealing]

Oh, is that all? [Rue laughs, at least a little big more lighthearted than before, their eyes softening into a smile.]

I will do my very best.