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[ruevealing]

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[ruevealing]

I'm suppose I'm more transparent than I realize.

[Let's be honest. When it comes to their children, Rue wears everything on their sleeve. Nothing is hidden.

It's all about what Rue expected to hear and there's maybe just the slightest touch of warmth that blossoms in their chest knowing that so many of the conversations they've had with Casey, they've spoken similar sentiments. What he's had to deal with would be incredibly heavy for anyone, but for a child to bear the weight of it? It is horrific and sad and something that will take time to recover from. Not months, but years to heal and even then, most of those scars won't just disappear completely.

But Casey is also the strongest person they know. If anyone can come out of this healthy and happy, it's him.]

He's resilient. [Their paw rests there at Caduceus's forearm, a touch of quiet thanks for all of the work he's done in talking to their child.]

There is no doubt in my heart that he will overcome this and manage to live a life of overwhelming joy, but I know it will be a long recovery, with many ups and downs.

[a quiet beat before Rue adds,] I will not bully you into telling me all of it, but is there anything that I've done, or rather, that I have not done, that I could be doing better for him? How best can I continue to support him?

[steepwithdead]

…Hmmm. [A very good and sensible question for a mother to ask.] Having not observed you two together much, it's hard to say. But it's clear he trusts you a great deal. That's what is coaxing him to open up to me, despite not knowing me well yet. [He'd promised to try, for them.] The main task I'd give you is the easiest, as I have no doubt you're already doing so: love him, and don't betray that trust.

[He sits back a bit, sipping at his tea.]

As for something more specific, he's shared some concerns about feeling angry, but not wanting to express it around loved ones. He fears how it might affect their view of him, or that it would upset them. I gave him a journal to track them, and how he feels during and after. If you know someone outside of his normal social circle who could help him find an outlet for that anger until we work through better methods of containing it, I think that would be good for him.

[ruevealing]

[Love him. Trust that Rue will never let a single moment go by where Casey doesn't know exactly how much he is loved by them. That is one promise that the owlbear never fears they will break.

The mention of anger though, that is a different beast entirely.

Rue listens to the advice that Caduceus offers, their gaze dipping down to their tea cup to watch the water swirl, a little too focused on the pattern it makes. Anger is something that Rue has been struggling with themself, just as privately as Casey must be, likely with just as much fear of it as he's been feeling too.

They can't quite meet their friend's gaze as they finally answer, big eyes still glued to their tea.]

I can do that, yes. Of course.

casually rolling 29 for insight, feels almost entirely unnecessary reading tag

[steepwithdead]

[He watches quietly as they take in that information, the silence and evasion more telling than anything. This time it's he who reaches out, resting his hand gently on their wing.]

My friend, can I offer you some personal advice?

he saw into rue's future with that roll

[ruevealing]

[Rue perks up at the touch, any lingering tension in their shoulders disappearing as their expression goes soft.]

Please. But understand, I would never even hear it from anyone else but you.

[steepwithdead]

In that case, I won't hesitate.

[They may as well get used to him getting to the heart of things at record speed.]

There's a common saying amongst clerics, perhaps you've heard of it: practice what you preach.

[ruevealing]

[Caduceus is treated to an unblinking owl stare with that one.]

Caduceus! Though I deeply appreciate your honesty with me, that feels quite targeted! Do I truly give off such a feeling? Or is it only that you know my heart so well you can read it better than even I could?

[steepwithdead]

[He smiles calmly, brows lifting.]

Yes, and yes. [Guilty as charged.] And you excel at evasion, as well.

[ruevealing]

[okay but this is why they are friends]

What? You would have me journal my feelings?

[steepwithdead]

Perhaps you should.

[And then let him read it-]

[ruevealing]

[oh! he is serious. oh dear]

I don't know what I would have to say, dear. I suppose for all that I preach of being open and honest with my children, I'm not much of a role model.

[steepwithdead]

[Oh, good. Since they're taking him seriously now, his expression can sober a little.]

I think it's of great benefit to children who are struggling with mental issues to see those they respect giving themselves the same care. If you have the courage to share your struggles, they feel more secure in doing the same. [He gives them a meaningful look.] Surely you have someone you can confide in.

[ruevealing]

[He really does have them pegged, doesn't he?]

I understand what you are saying, how he might find the courage and strength to share more if I can mentor by example... But Caduceus, the idea of weighing him down with my own adult worries and fears - he has already carried more than his own fair share of burdens, I would feel like an awful mother to add my own to the pile.

[steepwithdead]

No, no. [He's quick to shake his head.] He's a child. I wouldn't expect you to share your woes the same way, especially if you worry about how they might trouble him. But he isn't the only person you might be able to speak with, is he? You have adult friends.

[Rue he's literally right here, come on. And if not him, you know lots of people, clearly.]

[ruevealing]

[Are they wildly embarrassed? Duh, but even Rue can't help the soft laugh that giggles out of them at that.]

I must look utterly foolish indeed, trying to avoid spilling the heavy worries of my heart to you.

[steepwithdead]

[Absolutely precious.]

Well, everyone is welcome to keep their secrets, certainly. And I don't begrudge them for it. But I do find it a little foolish not to reach for a needed hand when it's freely offered. Accepting love is what saves us from ourselves.

[ruevealing]

[Their wrist has been effectively slapped and Rue knows they deserved every second of it.]

You speak such beautiful truth, even if it can be difficult to accept at times. Pray, how does one even begun to talk about all they have held inside for so long?

[steepwithdead]

[Gotta crack a few eggs, as they say.]

In my experience, you start with the what, and worry about the how after. Think about what's causing you trouble, and then think about how you feel.

[He sips his tea, pausing briefly.]

In your case, the true first step is to stop forcing yourself to keep quiet. If I ask you what is causing the most stress in your life right now, in one word, how would you respond?

[ruevealing]

[Start with the what, hm? That is a more concise beginning than Rue's ever tried to start with.

It is not immediate, the owlbear goes quiet for a long stretch of silence, looking down at their dainty, little teacup, watching the gentle curl of steam slowly rise up into the air. But eventually that quiet breaks, first with a soft sigh.]

It is much better these last few weeks, but for longer than I'd like to admit, it was my Hob.

[steepwithdead]

[Caduceus waits until they're ready, silent and infinitely patient. Once they finally speak, he tilts his head questioningly but doesn't interrupt. Hob? He has yet to meet the bugbear, but this is the first time Rue has spoken of him with anything but glowing praise.]

[ruevealing]

[The silent question in that head tilt, even in all of Caduceus' patience, leaves the owlbear's belly twisting nervously.]

It is very complicated.

[steepwithdead]

[Rue,]

Point me towards a family that isn't complicated. [Polite, gentle smile. You are stalling.] Go on, I'll wait.

[ruevealing]

[Isn't this meant to be a safe space!!!]

We had been married for a month once before, last year in April. He walked out and ended things because he could no longer brave facing the trials we were put through together.

[steepwithdead]

[Safe from judgment, not from commentary!!

That one, though... that is serious. He's still new enough to this world to not be aware of Hob having different 'versions', so his brows furrow.]

Are you concerned that his behaviour hasn't changed enough to remarry?

[ruevealing]

[Really, Rue should clarify, but they aren't thinking about it, too focused on deep, even breathing.]

Trust is a choice. I am making the active decision to trust him. Of course, doing so does not mean my every fear is erased, but I am trying to put it behind me.