ruevealing | folkmore inbox.

[The contact and the blanket make it easier; his fingers curl around one edge, clenching tightly. Deep breath.]

The spoon shrine on Never Fade... it's full of broken spoons. Supposedly it's from people who've been here before. Leftovers, soul fragments. Or spirits who've passed... there were a lot of stories. [He only knows a fraction. Draxum would be able to answer it better.] April asked Master Draxum if he could... find a way to reach out to my family, from home. Like how they can talk to the Hamato ancestors...

[He ducks his head, humbled not only by April's kindness but the work Draxum had put into it, without him ever knowing.]

They wanted to help me. So I'd... get closure, somehow.

[Well, Rue thought they and Draxum were on the same page, but clearly they are not. But that's another conversation, another worry for another day.

Instead, their focus is all Casey, a paw petting softly against his hair, a heavy wing wrapped around his skinny shoulders, listening intently to not only the words their son is speaking but to his breathing. No panic attacks this morning if Rue can help it, just calm, easy breaths while he recounts what happened during the previous evening.]

That was very kind of them. [It would be closure well deserved, for Casey to be able to walk away with a lighter burden against his shoulders.] What happened then?

[Casey tilts his head subtly into the pets, drawing strength from the weight on his shoulders, feeling grounded by it. His breathing is steady, occasionally hitched with emotion but not quick or panicked. He's still feeling a lingering sense of being overwhelmed, but not panicked.]

He searched until he found a fragment, and... he said he could feel it. Leo's spirit, but- older. Much older. He thought it must be him. That's when he told April, and she told me. We both went to meet him there last night. It took all night, but we... we got all the pieces. We put it together. And- and then sensei was... he was there. I felt him. He, um. [He rests a hand against his chest, over his heart.] He kind of... possessed me?

[This part's weird, sorry Mom.]

[Rue's paw stills against Casey, just for a brief moment.

Their Leo but older? Could such a thing truly be real? Was Casey's sensei really brought here to Folkmore at some point? The turtle of the future brought to the past of the fox's realm, it sounds utterly absurd and yet -]

Oh darling, I -

[wait what] What do you mean possessed?

[not to have son possession trauma BUT]

I-I mean-!

[How the heck else does he explain it.]

It's a thing that the Hamato ancestors can do. Using their ninpo... it happened to April, a long time ago. [Well, it was a long time ago in his time, at least.] Gram-Gram possessed her, it's how they learned to use their mystic powers. It's why I look like this.

[He gives the outfit and cloak a meaningful, protective pat. Definitely not something he's ever been seen wearing before.]

[Rue's paw moves to Casey's forehead, brushing the hair from his face, talons dancing across his cheeks, big eyes just a little too unblinking as they take in their son's appearance.

For all this talk of possession, at least Casey seems fine now, but forgive Rue if there's a tremor of fear of it happening again after what happened to Hunter.]

And you're certain you are alright?

[He's quick to nod, not wanting to leave them hanging, holding still as they examine him. He is fine, besides looking as if he's lacking sleep or a shower.]

I'm fine! It was only for a few minutes. He... [Casey hesitates, then, fingers curling in the fabric of the cloak, taking a shuddering breath.] He's gone, now.

[From Casey's body, but also... from this world. It's a painfully bittersweet feeling; he'd had no desire to hold on to the soul that had reached out to him, needing his body to be his own. To have something else inside him, communicating with him and possibly controlling him, has been a fear of his since early childhood. But it was sensei, and the last time they'd likely ever cross paths. He was so hard to let go of.]

[Rue searches his face, looking for something they aren't even entirely aware of, but when they seem satisfied enough that their son isn't falling to pieces in front of them, they tug their boy right back into their wings and squeeze him tight.]

Tell me everything.

[He's quiet for a long moment, sinking into the soft, feathery embrace as he debates where to even begin to describe what happened, what he's feeling. After the moment passes, he shifts and presses his fingers gently into their feathers, smoothing down the fluffed up and messy sections down to give his hands something to do and attempting to be helpful. They're all puffed up and frazzled thanks to him after all, the least he can do is help them clean up.]

You remember... those letters you said I should write? To sensei and the others... I didn't finish them, but I took sensei's letter with me. [He can still feel the crumpled paper tucked into his robe, close to his heart.] I got to read it to him. I told him what I'd been feeling... about my life here, about you and Hunter, and the family we've all made together here. About Leo. He was... he was happy for me. He was proud. This really is what he'd wanted for me.

[Not just for him to go back and save the world, but to live in it. To live. He'd known, but to have it confirmed makes a lot of what he'd gone through sink in stronger than before.]

[Nonsense, Casey owes them nothing. But if the feeling of his hands through their feathers soothes him, Rue will let ruffle their own a million times over to allow him to smooth them back down again and again.

Anything for him.]

Oh Casey... [To be honest, Rue is unsurprised with the outcome. They knew that if Leo's love was true - and of course it was - that he would be nothing but joyful to hear his son was thriving in this world, after the second chance he'd been given. But how healing it must be for Casey to hear it from the man himself, to know that this was exactly what his sensei wanted for him, that finding happiness and purpose outside of that apocalypse was the very best thing for him.]

How did it make you feel to hear all of that? To be able to share your letter?

[It is soothing, he'd admit that if asked. It reminds him of much earlier days, during their moult, when so many of his truths were still secrets, when he could still bury it deep and pretend everything was okay. It helps him remember how far they've come since, and how impossible it feels now to hide or fake it the way he used to. He can share this. He doesn't need stitch himself back together for the war, for the family, for convenience. He can feel this, all of it.

He takes a deep breath.]

I feel... better, but worse, too. It's weird. It hurts. I could feel him... his reaction to it all... I know it's everything he wanted for me. He was... happy.

[He pauses, then, briefly, and one hand shifts to clasp over his chest. His heart is beating so fast. Why? They're just talking. It all happened last night, it's over now. He's fine. He's fine.]

...He had to leave again. I knew- I knew he was going to. It's good that I... got to say goodbye. [He shudders, eyes clenching.] I said goodbye, and... he's gone...

[The parting this time was better. It was so, so much better. The trauma of being tossed alone through a portal, watching him disappear in a blaze of deadly energy, now has a layer of softness and love blanketing the pain, the feeling of ghostly arms around him and the sensation of good and happy and pride. Sensei was proud of him. Sensei loved him. Sensei accepted him, all of him, the changes and the growth and all the ways he's gone soft. The loss had been so kind, compared to that day.

But it's a loss all the same.]

[It's about what Rue expected Casey to be feeling right now, but they can't help the small pride that swells up within them that he can name so many of his current emotions outright. As overwhelming as this all may feel, he is not drowning too far deep into his feelings that he can't recognize one from the other.

That is so very important.]

But you got to say goodbye.

[Gently, always, Rue's paw presses over Casey's hand against his chest, holding it to his heart.

To have a new goodbye with Leo, something still sad, yes, but warm and full of reminders of love, instead of the original goodbye he had to carry around for so long. This one will help to replace the old, so that Casey's final reminder of his sensei will be of how happy the turtle was that he had found so much shining happiness in this new life.]

To have that chance after all of this time, I can't imagine how that might have felt for you.

Yeah...

[He did. However he feels about all of it, none of it could override the fact that he was given such a gift.]

I'm happy. I-I'm upset. I feel so much better but I'm also kinda drowning in it. I... never knew what this felt like.

[He never knew how empowering it would be just to do something as simple as saying goodbye. It was never really possible- deaths happened so abruptly, casualties coming in on the daily. One day someone would be there, the next they'd be gone. It was so common to check for names on the update reports or memorial wall, rather than getting to quietly share final moments with a loved one as they passed. He thinks of Mayhem, how the little yokai beast had been the first Casey had ever seen die of something as ordinary as old age. Peaceful deaths just... didn't happen.

Hesitantly, he looks up at Rue.]

Is this... how it's supposed to be?

[So happy, so upset, drowning in the pure rush of his emotions - Rue tugs Casey tighter, pressing their feathery cheek into his hair, pulling him against their fluttering heartbeat.

No, of course this isn't how it is supposed to be. Casey should never have lost his family in the first place, never have had to make the journey alone without them, to leave behind the only world he ever knew in search of a life he wasn't ready to live. But Rue has long learned that in their eyes, nothing is fair in regards to their children. All of them have suffered so deeply, so hurt by the world and by the adults in their lives, at least for Casey, he's able to get the closure he was always denied, even if it doesn't fill the holes they left in their absence within him.]

How it's supposed to be, my darling? You mean how you are meant to feel right now? Because, Casey, my love, you are doing the very best you can for the very enormous thing you've just experienced. I hope you hear me when I say how very proud I am of you.

[Casey sniffs and presses close, unresistant to their embrace, and for a little while he simply listens to the thud of their heart at his ear, feels their gentle touch and stroking claws. He's doing his best? They're proud of him? It's what sensei had felt, too. It's what both of his parents want for him, that he live healthy and happy and just do the best he can. There were so many years where it felt like his best wasn't good enough, that if only he could do more, more, more, the people around him wouldn't end up dying. The clueless, desperately hopeful ideals of a child. There's so little he could have done to save those lives. The mindscape trial proved that, didn't it? But still, he longed for it more times than he could count.

He doesn't have to wish for that every day anymore. His best is just fine, to those he loves. All of his family, to Rue... sensei, too.

...Oh. That's right.]

I- I asked him. If it was okay if... he's my dad.

[Judging by the shy, flustered smile crossing his lips, it's easy to guess what Master Leonardo's answer was. And yes, they already believed what he might say, but it hits different, knowing for sure.]

[There is just no hiding how that conversation must have gone, their son an open book with that soft, shy smile. Even now, after all of this time, Leo didn't let their boy down. He made absolutely certain that Casey knew just how much he was loved and cared for.

This time when Rue wraps him up in their wings, they lift Casey up into their arms properly, a happy trill at their beak as they squeeze him completely.]

I will not say I told you so - [even if they practically just did] - but Casey, I am so happy to hear that. How did that feel to finally hear?

It... it felt amazing! [The shy smile transforms into a far brighter one, beaming excitedly, slightly giddy at the memory.] I felt it... it was... it was overwhelming. This rush of love all through my body... it's like nothing I'd ever felt before. Like- I could feel mine, but also his- and it was so...!

[He gesticulates helplessly. He doesn't have the words! It was just, so much! So very much!]

[No one deserves this more than Casey. Not a single person.]

You could feel that love rushing within you? Oh darling, how wondrous! To have that moment with your father, I can't imagine how much that meant to you. I have no doubt you will carry that moment along for the rest of your life.

[Eagerly Casey nods, opening his mouth to say more, shutting it again as he struggles with the words. Finally he leans in and buries his face against them, muffled by feathers.]

I'll never forget. I felt so warm... sensei... Dad... he loved me so much!

[And he feels loved, always. By Rue, by Hunter, by the rest of their family. It's always so wonderful. But to feel it firsthand is so very intense.]

[There's just something about hearing Casey say 'dad' so proudly that just brings tears to Rue's eyes.]

Loves. I think this experience has only proven that, don't you think? That his love continues on within you forever.

Loves... [He presses a hand tightly against his chest, smile broadening.] That's right. Even though he'd already passed, he loved me. Love can keep existing, after death... he still loves me.

[As distressed and conflicted as he in part feels about what happened, having to let go of him once more, this all feels incredibly warm, a soothing, fluffy feeling that he hopes he never loses.]

Love like that never goes away, as long as it has someone to live within.

[Which, by Rue's estimation, means that Casey is made up of at least 90% love.]

You know, darling, even though you have had your chance to share so many of the feelings you've been keeping inside of you, I think continuing to write to your father would be a wonderful exercise. Just a chance to write to him exactly how you write with me, to tell him about your every day life and all of the happiness you find within it.

[He's heard this before- it reminds him of a conversation he had once with Peter. He's not surprised that Rue shares that sentiment. Love never vanishes. Love is forever. Love is inside, always. It's a beautiful thought, daunting and wonderful.

He considers their suggestion, pursing his lips thoughtfully.]

You think it'll help? Even if I can never send the letters anywhere?

[95% actually.]

I can't answer if it would truly work for you, of course, but I think it might. Just having a place to write about all of the things in your life that you would want to share with him, a place for your every feeling and thought and hope and dream. It may be therapeutic.

inbox

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject